I am I.

I am a girl with no hopes, dreams, wishes, or desires of any kind. I don't have any plans or goals for the future. I am not living my life to the fullest. I am simply existing. Waiting and yet not waiting, for something, anything, to happen or not.
I am told that I have the potential to do great things in life. I honestly doubt that. There are few things I hold in high regard that are indispensable. Moreover, I have a morbid way of thinking. At times I am stressful and infuriating to be around. My emotions are easily misinterpreted by others. I can be cruel and most of the time am a grim person. I am mentally delicate, yet strong enough to hide my weaknesses. I can be rude and obnoxious.
I don't feel obligated to do anything at all. I am here to exist for a short amount of time, at the end of which, I will be obsolete.

Thought of by a specific few who thought they knew me...
Until I am forgotten...
Time will pass...
And I am no longer a memory.

hahaha. hmm...well, as if that doesn't sum it up, my name is Brittanie. Though most people know or refer to me as Billy's sister, Big Bill's daughter, Sherrie's oldest, and then there are the labels, like: freak, loner, goth, and throughout middle school, high school, and the last two years of grade school, I became the invisible person, the quiet girl, or just plain weird, cold, insane, heartless, or some family members' favorite...a bitch. Most of the time, I keep my thoughts, opinions, and feelings to myself. I'm not used to talking about myself, or talking at all for that matter. I'm the "listener." I'm not the one who leads a conversation or changes it so easily. I sit there, in the back and listen, sometimes smile, nod my head, and take all the information in. For the most part, I am the last to say anything, if there is anything left to be said. Next subject.I love music. Anything other than country. I absolutely can NOT stand it. Why? I don't know, nor do I care. ...Books are my life. Yeah, that's the end of that. I love my cats, Buzz, Kylan, and Kemoc. I had a rat named Kaytee. I miss her. ahh, lets see. I like libraries, Halloween, rainy days, sporks, my friends, family, step-family (duh), archery...and whatever else I'm not remembering. I dislike crowds, bright colors, holiday shopping, dolls (basically anything that stares), politics, valentine's day, clowns (anything that smiles at you for no reason should be killed), racism, sunny days, spring time, dogs, taking pills for no reason, green food, heels, make-up...ugh, there are plenty of other things, but that's all for now. So, let's see here...I have trust issues. I question EVERYTHING, especially peoples motives. I haven't cut myself in a year and three months. I have rheumatic fever and have had lyme disease three times in my life. I've broken my ankle while trying to teach myself how to skateboard (and I still haven't mastered it!). I have a scar on the left side of my neck from where I had a mole removed. Apparently, it was cancerous. I have this freckle between my middle and ring finger on my left hand, that absolutely annoys me. Why? I have no idea. It just does. hmm, what else?...I can't stand being touched. Anywhere. It makes me sick. Seriously. I also have this problem with getting rid of or stopping habits that people compliment or comment on. It urks me to no end. I don't believe in god, satan, heaven, hell, ghosts, love at first sight and MANY other things. I especially don't believe that there is someone for everyone. Oh! And I love to drive fast (because of this, my family calls me batman or speed demon). haha, no, I'm serious. I talk to myself. Probably more than I talk to anyone else (including my cats).

Okay, well if there is anything that I have not mentioned, please feel free to ask questions!